We both walked the promenade, and now sitting on the pavement, facing the beautiful sea. I am trying to get you talk to me; but it's all in vain. I am telling you my stupid stories. You chuckle a bit. But, again get back in the same mood. I am reading out our old chats to you, reminding you of a beautiful moment we shared. It doesn't affect you.
I go silent wondering my mistake might have been a huge on and that is why such reactions from you. I try to recall things from the last night's chat. I think it was a petty thing. You really should have forgiven me. But, I look at you, and you look away. I know I'm not forgiven. I don't know what to do. It seems impossible to coax you into talking it out. I feel helpless.
I look at the sea and the city that has connected us. I miss you talk. I miss you listen to my stories. I miss you react and want to listen more. And, I miss you talk about your office stories. Though, there really are none. All you keep telling me is that it was a boring day. I miss the nonstop texting I had with you. I miss us both asking random and, sometimes, stupid questions; but answering all of them.
I miss....well, You. In a matter of just one day! Funny, this attachment! I look at you again... and somehow feel, I should leave you on your own... Perhaps you don't need this cajoling. Maybe, you don't want to talk, not today. I feel like a drop in the ocean holding back to add in more. I feel like a drop in your ocean holding back to push it more. I give you a hug and leave without making an eye contact. Even midsts of all the noise around us- of all the vendors, of the traffic, of the people- we both have nurtured personal commotions in our heads. I do turn around only to see you looking at the sea. Alas! I am losing it to your ego, one day at a time.
The Guy's Part :
You hugged me. The hug seemed like it was all over, like it was the last one that I'd ever get from you. I sensed it was all falling apart. You had started walking away. I gathered all the courage I could and called out your name. The Marine Drive suddenly got a lot more freezing. Shivering breezes started flowing around, and you froze right at your spot, however not ready to turn around. I ran to you, walked close and held on to your hand.
I couldn't voice the words that the heart yearned to say- "Wait! Don't just walk out on me. Please?" I just stood there, holding your hand, unable to utter a word still; looking into your eyes in a hope that you'd read mine. Every day I wake up to your text, that one message which wishes me a Good Morning. Today, I felt like I was missing something, missing a part of me perhaps.. It was that one message I was missing. Your message. It felt incomplete. I felt completely lost.
Yesterday, it all just slipped away and I may have lost my control but I couldn't just tell you what I felt. I kept asking myself; whether I was too harsh on you, if I was right to be mad at you and not reply to your continuous calls and texts. But, I was angry. It was not a petty issue. Maybe, it was negligible for you; but for me, it was much more. I still can't just find a way to let you know how much I care for you. I just hope you'll understand. I know that I've hurt you, I shouldn't have over reacted. But, sweetheart, I am Sorry... I really am!! Even I miss your nonstop chatter. I miss the way you make me listen to your endless random stories. I miss you pause when I react to some of your stories. And, I miss your chuckle at my "Ohh ho!"
Yes I miss the nonstop texting we had. I miss us both asking random and sometimes, stupid questions; but answering them all. I miss... well, You! In a matter of just one day! Amusing, this attachment! I look at you. Again.. And somehow feel, that I shouldn't leave you on your own, not today. Perhaps, you just need this cajoling. Maybe you want me to make you talk. I feel like if I don't try today, this would just add up to my regrets all the more. I feel like if I don't make you stay today, I'd be pushing you away a lot more. I give you a hug and whisper in your ears. Even a midst all the noise around us- of the vendors, of the traffic, of the people- we both have found our own solace in each other's arms. I do look up at the sky only to smile at it. Alas! I am killing my ego, one day at a time.
Article By: Sonali Dhiman